its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
