that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
