Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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