so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
