i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
