my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
