dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
