Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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