Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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