i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
