This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
