Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
