What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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