he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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