Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
