didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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