I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize