no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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