he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
