She went from zero to smokin in five shots
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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