Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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