Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals

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(925): View more from California

You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

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(+61): View more from Australia

This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.

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(801): View more from Utah

I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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(281): View more from Texas

Dinner?

(713): View more from Texas

YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!

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(850): View more from Florida

So this bar tattoo not looking that great now

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life

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