I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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