Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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