I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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