i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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