So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
