I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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