He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
