Kareoke will never be a sober sport
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
