Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
