I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
