i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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