He is such a slut. More and more my type.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
