I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
