Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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