Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
