So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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