She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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