It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Randomize
