Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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