so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Enjoy the penises
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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