guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize