i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
