is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
