that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
