I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize