hotel room ftw
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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