sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
