VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
