he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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