yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
