the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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