HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
