Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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