he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
