on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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