no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just google imaged poop.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he high fived his dick after we had sex
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
