Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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