The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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