i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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