carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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