I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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