I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
