Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
