How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
