fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
