pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
